| Me and my girls rolling up to the Sonic window. [Netflix] |
| A journey deep into the forest of August |
| Without rhyme, reason or spiritual purpose, here are five things I'm enjoying right now that you may also enjoy: Chimps I was scrolling Netflix for a low-investment show when I came across "Chimp Empire." Joke was on me because I became clinically invested, far more invested than I have in any content featuring humans in a long, long time. "Chimp Empire," a docuseries that came out this spring, follows a huge community of chimpanzees living in a forest in Uganda. The footage of these chimps is... I can't even articulate how stunning it is. But the visuals are not what made me fall so hard. It's the DRAMAAAAAAAA. Chimps, who share more than 98 percent of our DNA, are highly political and cunning. They have power structures and friendships and attitudes and senses of humor and grudges. They pick parasites off each other to curry favor (who among us has not?) and are deliciously passive-aggressive. The series follows two factions of warring chimps over a year in Kibale National Park. I will not give anything away except to tell you that my tears had tears. My husband and I found ourselves popping our little popcorns and giddily running to the next episode night after night. Do you need this show in your life? Yes, the way you need love. Author's note: I admittedly have an outsized interest in primates. Giant T-shirts At last week's epic Beyoncé concert in Tampa (more on that soon), I purchased my requisite concert tour shirt. I held up the extra large at the merch table and thought, self, you did this last time. You bought this size at Taylor Swift, and it is not giving nearly the luxurious, shape-shifting, roomy accommodations you're looking for. Go bigger. I went up a size. This thing is massive on me, and I love it. This is the T-shirt energy I want in 2023. Those of us who came of age in the Paris Hilton days are tired of "girl shirts" with their V-necks, tiny sleeves and nipped waists that never hit at the right spot anyway. We want to drown in our T-shirts like they are the robes of Moses. We want no discernable body form. We want to be as sexy as a block of Velveeta. Thank you for understanding. Sonic Slush After the concert, my friend and I had to walk a mile to fetch my car behind the 2001 Odyssey strip club, honestly a decent option for $20 in what is otherwise a parking nightmare. We decided to drive through the neighboring Sonic. I chose the Polynesian Punch Slush, which is the flavor "red," and my friend got the Tropical Colada Slush, which is the flavor "yellow." I think it had something to do with the terrifying record heat and my mascara being all rung around my eyes like Courtney Love in 1994, but this was the most refreshing *&%$*@^% drink of all my days. We both kept gulping big, fat, sugary crystals through the straw and cronching with delight. Key Lime La Croix Speaking of hydration, what is the best summer flavor of La Croix, and why is it Key Lime? Finally, one thing I cannot, in good faith, recommend: Bama Rush I am glad this season of Bama Rush is over on TikTok because now I can get back to my life. If you don't know about Bama Rush, consider yourself blessed. If you are a masochist, you can read my full report from last year. If in the past two weeks you said anything to the tune of, "I know Morgan got dropped, but maybe she'll get a snap bid from Theta," or, "I might get a tennis skirt from Gold Hinge," you have already been infected. I wish you well in finding the elusive vial of antidote, and let me know if you do. |
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