The Onion |
- Memorial Daze
- Police Report Bystander Killed By Officer Had Long History Of Bystanding
- Meta Bans Employees From Talking About Abortion
- Nation’s Male Bus Strangers Announce Plans To Show Each Other Pictures Of Swimsuit Models On Their Phones
- Report: Dad Won’t Admit He Feels Cute In New Hat
- Affection For Restaurant Dialed Back Upon Realization It A Chain
| Posted: 24 May 2022 07:36 AM PDT |
| Police Report Bystander Killed By Officer Had Long History Of Bystanding Posted: 24 May 2022 05:00 AM PDT  ST. LOUIS—Saying the incident fit a larger pattern in which the victim was often present but not an active participant in a situation, the Metropolitan Police Department reported Tuesday that local bystander David Clacker, who was killed by an officer, had a long history of bystanding. "After a thorough investigation,… |
| Meta Bans Employees From Talking About Abortion Posted: 24 May 2022 05:00 AM PDT  Meta has reportedly told employees that they cannot talk about abortion on Workplace, its internal version of Facebook, because it could create a "hostile work environment," leaving people "feeling like they're being targeted based on their gender or religion." What do you think? |
| Posted: 24 May 2022 05:00 AM PDT  CHICAGO—Pledging to loudly discuss the desirability of women's breasts no matter the personal cost, the nation's male bus strangers announced plans Tuesday to show each other pictures of swimsuit models on their phones. "We will reach over several visibly uncomfortable passengers to show each other photos on our… |
| Report: Dad Won’t Admit He Feels Cute In New Hat Posted: 24 May 2022 05:00 AM PDT  WILMINGTON, NC—With the accessory reportedly giving him a newfound "pep in his step" that he could not manage to conceal, family sources stated Tuesday that local dad Kevin Eicher wouldn't admit that he felt cute in his new hat. "He clearly likes how he looks in it, because he hasn't wiped that grin off his face since… |
| Affection For Restaurant Dialed Back Upon Realization It A Chain Posted: 24 May 2022 05:00 AM PDT  ST. CLOUD, MN—Seeking to distance himself from his previous words of praise for the establishment, local man Dylan Wortman immediately dialed back his affection for a restaurant Tuesday upon learning it was part of a chain. "Oh, what I meant was, it's pretty good for what it is, and it's not a bad option if everything… |
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